The first con I ever went to was World Fantasy ‘16 in Columbus.
I had just completed a book I was happy with, done my research, and despite being painfully shy at times, thought this might be a good opportunity to meet people in the community. Long story short, I spent most of my time going to panels, readings, and trying to work up the courage to talk to people I knew from twitter, their books, or the few agents I knew the names of. I failed about as spectacularly as one can. For starters, everyone seemed to be in groups that were more intimidating to go near than the popular girls when I was in elementary school. And not wanting to bother them, I stayed away, hoping I might find an opportunity to break in at a different point. At the time, I didn't know room parities were a thing, so I lost the chance to meet people there. Which, the more cons I go to, I've realized that if someone's at one, they're ok with being talked to. Instead, I spent most nights at the bar, at the counter, watching the world series games on tv. Despite disliking baseball and desperately wanting to meet people. At the time, the only writing community had ever been a part of was at my university. And they were more literary than I ever aspired to be.
But, lucky for me, someone took pity on the poor kid sitting at the bar alone and invited me to join his friends at their table. Without him, I don't know if I would have ever gone to a con again. I also don't know if I would have an agent or a book deal without that small act of kindness. Because he ended up introducing me to my agent, and from there, well, my agent helped me refine the book I knew had potential into something other people might want to read. If there's any one person who has every right to take credit for my career if I ever become popular, it's him.
So that was the first con I went to.
The first con I went to as an agented author was World Fantasy ‘17 in San Antonio.
Immediately, it was like night and day. Authors I had met at previous cons introduced me to editors or other authors, no longer making me feel like the kid who alone at the table in the cafeteria while laughter echoed from the other end. The agency I was apart of introduced me to even more people. It was a lot. Names upon names, conversations upon conversations, and I don't even remember how many times I said the pitch of my book. Because of that con I still have it memorized. But the thing I remember the most was the weird feeling I had when I talked to certain people. People who at first seemed disinterested in me but lit up when someone else told them who my agent was. It made me feel gross. As if I were simply some steppingstone for them to get closer to someone else. But people like that were few. Maybe that’ll change the further into my career I get.
I remember that con fondly, because it was just fun to meet people and talk about books. And it was long before I started worrying about publishing things. I was just a kid having fun. That feeling went away with time, but I'd like to get back to it one day.
The first con I went to with a deal was WorldCon 76 in San Jose.
I remember going there just wanting to meet new people and hang out with those I hadn't seen in a while, catch up with my editor, and have a meal with my agent. But the issue with those cons is just the sheer size of them. The hangout location of the professionals changed each night and unless someone tells you where it is, you spend part of your night wandering around hotels seeing if you recognize someone at a bar. It's exhausting. But worse, at World Fantasy I already had trouble remembering everyone's name, but WorldCon it was almost impossible to keep them all straight. Especially nights I walked home at 3am after waking up at 6am the previous day trying to recall, or find the twitter handle, of the person I spent half an hour talking to in the bar at 8pm before I was overwhelmed with more names the next day. It was around then I stopped taking it personally if someone forget me or my name even if we had talked at a conference. And hope they do the same for me. Cons are exhausting.
The more cons I go to, the more my experience changes each time. I imagine my first con with a book out will be different than all these cons before…but I’d like to try to introduce new people to others as someone did for me at World Fantasy ‘17. So, this is me saying, that if anyone ever sees me at a conference come say hi. I know what it’s like and have difficulty approaching people I don’t know-know, so I’ll do my best to approach other people I see them alone too.
I don’t think I’d be able to look myself in the mirror if I ever forgot where I started.